Prayer and Preparing (I am an Idiot)

One of my favorite things to do is to get up early and spend about an hour just God and myself before my day starts, so this assignment didn’t seem like it would be that difficult to me. I even like solitude. I love getting up before anyone I live with is awake. I love separating myself from my friends, from the world, and just chillin’ alone with God. Also I normally prepare myself for church before I go anyways, so I really didn’t think there would be much of a difference in this assignment and my normal life. Though, recently in the past few days, I have let myself become too busy to spend much time in solitude, which has made my communication with God suffer. Getting up early and going to the church to pray yesterday was not a problem; it was once I started praying that was. I had noticed since about Wednesday that I wasn’t connecting with God like I normally do, and I hate to admit it but I knew why: I wasn’t giving Him enough time. 

Even though I had noticed this I continued to fill my time with hanging out with friends, doing homework, or sleeping. I let my selfishness consume my heart. Yesterday morning woke me up to the fact that I am being an idiot. Admitting this is embarrassing, but even still this morning I didn’t not get up and give God time. I am definitely devoting my afternoon to spending one on one time with my Daddy. Henri J. M. Nouwen said, “… we realize that a day without solitude is less ‘spiritual’ than a day without it.” It’s crazy how much of difference there is in my days that I wake up and hang out with God, than in the days that I don’t. It’s crazy how not spending a few days with the Lord can make me feel so empty. I guess that just goes to show how much I constantly need to be filled up by God.

“Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.” –Psalms 86:11-13