The Reality of the Relationship

I definitely believe it is really easy for an individual who is actively engaged in vocational ministry to be struggling in their relationship with Christ. Just because someone works in a church doesn’t mean they are walking along side God. Number one, people can be very fake and not even care to have an intimate relationship with Christ. Number two, people get busy with things and sometimes push God aside, whether on accident or purpose, and they fill their time with those things instead of striving to fall more in love with Jesus. People also get lazy. They don’t feel like reading their Bible or praying, or they would much rather do other things. People who work in vocational ministry are still people. People are human. Humans are sinful. Humans are selfish. It doesn’t matter if they work in a church or not, they are still capable of falling into these things. Satan may even try to attack them more with these things because they have such an influence on the church.

It’s also very dangerous for ministers to start to become lazy, selfish, or too busy because it’s so easy to slip and they play such a role in the church. They need to continue to strive to live like Christ. They need to daily pursue a deep relationship with God. They should be falling more and more in love with God every day, even the really hard days. This is how they stand up to this reality. This is how we all fight Satan. Daily, hourly, constantly seeking God’s face and seeking to please only the Lord. By being a God fearer, but being in love with Him too.

Division and Politics

I think that churches should be accepting of some differences, but on biblical important doctrines and practices they shouldn’t waiver. Example: Cooperation should continue even if some people like contemporary music and some like traditional. Example: Division should happen if there is a difference in believing that you can only get to heaven through Christ.

Honestly I don’t know much about politics and I’m just now learning about what makes Baptists, Baptists, but politics should not be used in the church if they don’t line up with things in the Bible. I’m not really sure what kind of politics are needed, if any at all, to further an agenda that someone believes is biblically important.

Baptist History: 2 Remaining Principles

One principle that has been around since the beginning of Baptists and is still relevant today is the fact that a high amount of money they raise goes towards missions. The First National Baptist Convention was formed to help with international missions and Annie Armstrong led the Lottie Moon offering early on. We still have things like this to go towards missions, but now we have a huge amount of people and organizations raising money.

Another principle that we still have is the formations of committees. In 1917 was the formation of an Executive Committee and in 1918 was a formation of the Annuity Board. We still have things like this today. We have pastor search committees or we have revival committees or a number of others. They have always been formed to be the main people that organize things, get things started, pray or prepare for things, and many other things.

Meaningful Prayer

George Buttrick writes a wonderfully vivid guideline to prayer life. I believe that I have a good balance between a formal and formless prayer life, but I feel like I leave some things out. When I first started having a prayer life I followed the CHAT acronym which taught me the basics on praying along the lines of confessing, honoring, asking, and thanking. Now when I pray I seem to have a decent order to things, but I’ve never thought about the self-preparation stage or the resolve we should have after confessing. Also I feel as if I hit all the high points when I pray but mostly out of practice, not really understanding specifically what each step meant or why I do them. A strategy that I’m going to try and adopt to improve my prayer life is, in all honesty, I think I’m going to make a chart like Buttrick mentions to make sure I get everything in and don’t forget anything or anyone; using it as a guideline without making it too formal.  I’m also going to continue to study the meaning behind each stage.

Living More Effectively

There isn’t any part of my time that I would like to be more effective in, but continuously throughout the day. I strive to be a light during the day as in encouraging and loving. I try really heart to let the joy I have in my heart overflow into others. This is good, but I would like to speak more truth. I’m a people pleaser and a push over so I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. When there is something going on or something said that I don’t agree with I don’t speak up as much as I should. I also don’t share what God is doing in my life enough, and I hardly ever ask anyone what God is doing in their life because I’m afraid of the answer. How am I trying to fix this? I’ve been praying for God to give me courage to be audacious, and to keep this on my mind all throughout the day since I often forget. I’ve also been trying to keep my eyes open to opportunities to do so.

“It has well been said that truth without love is brutality, but love without truth is hypocrisy. Little children do not know how to blend truth and love. They think that if you love someone, you must shield him from the truth if knowing the truth will hurt him. It is a mark of maturity when we are able to share the truth with our fellow Christians, and do it in love. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:6)”. – Warren W. Wiersbe (The Bible Exposition Commentary)

My passion for Christ impacts my studies in a huge way, but it hasn’t always. It’s not that I hated doing my work, it’s just that there were many other things that I would’ve rather done. Before I started school this semester I was asked if I truly believed that God had called me to ETBU. I said that I did. They went on to explain how if I truly believed that then doing my homework, studying for tests, preparing for class, and getting enough sleep was an act of worship. That definitely changed my whole perspective on the way I looked at school. Now, not every time, but for the most part when I do my work or prepare for class I look at it as something God has called me to do, and in doing it I am bringing Him glory and praising Him. Don't get me wrong, I can still get lazy or selfish and not want to do my work, but that is a huge motivation for me. I want to make my heavenly Daddy look at my time spent and smile.

Prayer and Preparing (I am an Idiot)

One of my favorite things to do is to get up early and spend about an hour just God and myself before my day starts, so this assignment didn’t seem like it would be that difficult to me. I even like solitude. I love getting up before anyone I live with is awake. I love separating myself from my friends, from the world, and just chillin’ alone with God. Also I normally prepare myself for church before I go anyways, so I really didn’t think there would be much of a difference in this assignment and my normal life. Though, recently in the past few days, I have let myself become too busy to spend much time in solitude, which has made my communication with God suffer. Getting up early and going to the church to pray yesterday was not a problem; it was once I started praying that was. I had noticed since about Wednesday that I wasn’t connecting with God like I normally do, and I hate to admit it but I knew why: I wasn’t giving Him enough time. 

Even though I had noticed this I continued to fill my time with hanging out with friends, doing homework, or sleeping. I let my selfishness consume my heart. Yesterday morning woke me up to the fact that I am being an idiot. Admitting this is embarrassing, but even still this morning I didn’t not get up and give God time. I am definitely devoting my afternoon to spending one on one time with my Daddy. Henri J. M. Nouwen said, “… we realize that a day without solitude is less ‘spiritual’ than a day without it.” It’s crazy how much of difference there is in my days that I wake up and hang out with God, than in the days that I don’t. It’s crazy how not spending a few days with the Lord can make me feel so empty. I guess that just goes to show how much I constantly need to be filled up by God.

“Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.” –Psalms 86:11-13

What a Smack in the Face

While reading John of the Cross and trying to figure out which virtue I was most in need of I couldn't choose one at first. I literally read it saying “I struggle with none of these.” I finished reading and decided to take another look at each of these: humility, simplicity, contentment, peace, moderation, joy, strength. I thought there must be something I am in need of. That’s when God smacked me in the face, and honestly I’m having a really hard time finding words to describe what happened in my heart. I realized how prideful I truly am and how much humility I really need. Even looking at the thoughts I had towards this reading I can see how prideful I am. I have never thought of myself as prideful, but I am very much so. Not really with the way I speak or the way carry myself, but definitely with the way I think. What an epiphany… Literally the way I view myself has completely changed. Wow.

A Classmate's Blog

Looking through blog’s for Ministry Formations I came across one that really grabbed my attention. As I was reading Cody Walker’s blog about the three things he desires most from God my heart dropped. The very first sentence is “The thing that I have desired from God the longest is for my dad to know him.” When I read that a knot formed in my stomach because I think I know how he feels. As I mentioned in what I desire most from God, my dad is not a Christian either. Reading Cody’s blog was very inspirational because he has so much hope for his dad. He says “I believe that one day my dad will, it just has to be God’s time.” I do pray for my dad, but I don’t always believe that his heart can change. I know I need to have faith. I know I need to believe when I pray. I just don’t. My prayer right now is that I would believe and have hope that my dad will be saved as I pray for his heart to be broken for God.

The Enemy's Greatest Fear

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8

Satan is constantly looking to attack us. Ignatius compares Satan to a commander of an army that “pitches his camp, studies the strength and defenses of a fortress, and then attacks it on its weakest side”. Like a house cat trying to catch a bird, Satan crouches in the shadows, and as soon as we aren’t paying attention he pounces. His greatest fear is for him to be caught, especially by someone aside from his victim. To help instill this fear into him, in my life, I seek wise counsel from fellow believers my own age and from older mentors in my life. I have people holding me accountable and checking in on me often. When I’m being tempted, struggling, or even if I’m trying to prepare my heart I ask for prayer from others and pray with others. As long as I stay alert, on guard, and continue to have accountability in my life the enemy will live in fear instead of the other way around.

What I Desire

What I desire most from God is a very complicated question to answer. Most of what I desire is very selfish because I am very selfish. Also what I desire may change on a day to day basis depending on my mood or if my passions change. Right now the top three things I desire from God are:

1. That God would give me a burning passion for people I do not personally know. I have a hard time truly caring about people that I haven’t met, or that I don’t know very well. For example, I have a huge difficulty with praying for other countries or states, and praying for people that my friends tell me to pray for. Like when I try to pray for world hunger, for the president, or for my friend’s coach’s sister who has cancer it’s always half-hearted… or no hearted. I pray that God would put a passion for everyone He has placed on this earth in my heart. I pray that I would love them like He does.
2. I pray that God would bring to my attention the “little” sins I commit and that He would burden me with them. All sin is equal, but in this world we make certain sins not as big of a deal, like thinking negatively about someone, idolizing our friends, or doing things out of selfish ambition. Most of the time I go throughout the day doing many of these, and more, without even realizing it. I pray God brings all of these things to my attention and burdens me with them that way I can’t just selfishly shake them off and repeat them.
3. I pray that God helps me truly believe that He can do anything. Sometimes I doubt. Especially in the fact that He can save everyone from hell. I wish my brother and my earthly father would accept God into their lives and follow Him. I know God can change their hearts, but I have issues believing that. I pray for God to break their hearts for Him, but only half the time I am praying with true belief that He can. It’s really hard to believe with my dad being “set in his ways” and having the most hardened heart I’ve ever seen in my life.

These are three of the things I desire for God. I really do pray for these things and I will continue to pray for these things.